Thanks to a post over at the.[Ed]ition, I’ve been reminded of one of Japan’s best shows, TV Champion.
As you know, TV Champion is a show devoted to finding the best in [Insert Random Task Here]. They’ve found the best at using huge frying pans, chopsticks for unintended purposes and at knowing stuff about Morning Musume among other subjects, and they are all good to watch. The Lego show, however, makes me shameful of my childhood building abilities. Now I’m gonna go cry for a bit…
Filed under: Japan, Video — Malcolm Owen @ 9:45 am
…Obviously I don’t mean real zombies, I am more reffering to something as found and popularized on the great bastion of taste, Youtube.
Zombies seems to be a dance group/troop/squad that dresses identically, save for a weird mask covering the entire head. No idea why they do this, but fine, I’ll go with it.
For some reason they appear to like dancing to intros from anime. Yes, we’ve seen videos of people dancing along to the Lucky Star theme (the one that’s been around the internet for months now) at conventions, but none go to this much trouble and with this much enthusiasm. Really!
Youtube, those glorious bastards, have won today. I can’t be bothered to do a fake post on here, mainly because they have managed to do a fantastic Rickroll of so many people at the same time.
Beatbox is usually something to be looked down by most people. Mainly because it’s done very basically or very badly. And then you get the occasional person that (a) does the whole Beatboxing thing, (b) does it well, and (c) uses comedy. Like, say, Beardyman. A fantastic example of which is the Kitchen Diaries…
As you may know, I’m not one to go to the cinema all that often. Indeed, you might want to say that I dislike the cinema experience. And that is true for the most part. I would rather wait for the DVD to eventually get released than to go to the movies, purely because the experience doesn’t suck so much. Here’s my main 3 reasons for avoiding cinemas…
Some Staff Are Wannabe Film Critics, and They Suck
Don’t get me wrong, most of the staff that work at cinemas are A-OK. They know that they’re doing a job and they perform well. Granted, I can forgive a bit of confusion at the concession stand if it’s a new person working that bit, but I just cannot stand the guy that thinks he knows more than anyone else about films, and therefore his opinion is law. Usually it’s the guy serving or tearing the tickets, and I would expect either a good comment or no comment about what specific film I am going to see. I don’t expect to be questioned on my choice of film by the person selling the goddamned tickets to said film.
When I went to see Cloverfield, after I paid for my ticket the moron behind the counter said that he wouldn’t recommend it at all. Now, bearing in mind that (a) I’d just bought the tickets and (b) he’s employed to generally promote and sell tickets, the last thing I want is him saying I’m going to be disappointed, even when I’m telling him that I have seen some of JJ Abrams’ stuff in the past and have been heartily entertained by it. It’s very bad customer service when you are attacking your own customers. It’s even worse when you consider that this is in a city with more than just that cinema, and there’s heavy competition between them all.
Watching a Film with Other People Sucks
If I want to watch a film and it’s one that I’ve been waiting to see, the last thing I want is for the other people in the cinema to be noisy. Why do people feel the need to bring their newborn baby to a film with loud noises that will scare the kid senseless causing it to cry, scream or crap itself? What is the point of the “Turn your Phone Off” warning before the film when idiots that seem to have mentally blanked that phrase from their minds decide it’s time to talk to one of their gormless buddies as loudly as humanly possible, short of using cans and string? What failure in life decides that the best course of action is to say loudly what they think will happen (or if they have enough time on their hands that they’re willing to see a film twice in the cinema, what will be happening) when everyone else in the theatre are watching intently, thereby spoiling the story for everyone? If I’m forced into going to a cinema, I’d rather choose the latest possible showing to avoid these idiots. At least when watching films on DVD, the only person that I can possibly disturb would be myself. And I know full well I can pause it whilst I go to get another drink from the fridge.
The Food Sucks and Requires a Mortgage
Talking about refreshments, why does the food at the local movieplexodome fail to be tasty? There’s hotdogs that taste like rubber, popcorn that could easily substitute polystyrene pellets for packaging in boxes, and the noisiest sweet packaging known to man. If this was all sold cheaply, it’d be all right. But it’s not. I’m spending more on the food than I am on the already expensive ticket to get into the place, and for that price I expect quality.
It’s a shame that most cinemas forbid you from taking your own food into a screening, because I do love the idea of eating an XL Bacon Double Cheeseburger whilst enjoying senseless violence on the big screen. It’d be cheaper too. At least my couch doesn’t care.
Wannabe Jedi Knights are advised to brush up on their lightsaber techniques, dust off their copy of the Jedi Handbook, and get down to Surrey, where two Star Wars aficionados have announced their intention to open a training centre dedicated to promoting the popular alternative religion.
Wait, what?
Training to become a Jedi Master can apparently take up to two years, during which time disciples will have to master the lightsaber, study technology, martial arts and meditation and “learn the importance of neuro-linguistic programming” - something which is reckoned to act as a substitute for Jedi mind-control powers.
…So, just to clarify. There’s some people out there that want to celebrate thinking they are a Jedi, pretending to be a Jedi, with other people that think they are Jedi as well. And they are opening a training centre in order to do so. Mentioning that “neuro-linguistic programming” thing makes it seem a bit sinister though…
Morda Helol explained: “We are not extremists, we are not psychotics and we are not a cult. This is a treatment plan to better your life. It is exploiting the best parts of your life. You can follow it completely or at you own pace. We open our doors to anyone.”
Well… That makes it all right then. Although it does sound an awful lot like what a cult would say to the outside world anyway to convince people that they aren’t. And it is up to the people involved to do what they want with their lives, to believe in what they want to believe, to pretend that the acting in Episode 3 wasn’t wooden… At least it’s only confined to one location…
According to Mr Helol, he’s had offers from Brazil, France, Spain and the US to establish similar chapters. He declared: “This is going worldwide.”
Mr Lucas, what exactly have you done with these people?
Recently, I’ve had some free time to go and visit a few important people in my life. As part of that, I had to get some shopping to avoid that whole “Eat them out of house and home” scenario. As usual, to collect my usual supply of Coke Zero and Relentless, I passed down the drinks section, and this little beauty caught my eye.
Yes, it’s an officially branded 24: The Series energy drink. A large can about twice the size of Red Bull, and less than half the price. How could I possibly refuse?
Reading the CTU-coated can, you somehow get the feeling that this is a cheap cash-in on the franchise. The blurb on the back says “Be Your Own Action Hero… When the clock is ticking, revive and conquer Jack Bauer style. You can pack a lot of action into 24 hours… every second counts”, and I presume you have to use your own imagination to fill in the gap where the ticking clock and sound effects go.
Poured into a glass, the liquid looks like Red Bull, namely appearing like a sample of urine with glow-stick liquids thrown in for good measure. The taste however, is different.
Red Bull has this habit of smacking you in the face with it’s potent taste as soon as you take a mouthful, but it quickly settles down. This 24 drink doesn’t have that sort of wallop to your taste buds, preferring a slightly more soothing taste at first, which is a nice change. However… when it goes away, it leaves behind a fairly foul aftertaste which I can only describe as Vimto-Halitosis. Unfortunately, this taste stays with you as you go for another sip, and it cumilates the further you drink. Towards the end of the can, I didn’t want to drink it any more.
Somehow I feel that Jack Bauer would not allow this drink to exist if he drank it. At least I now know why it’s so cheap…
According to many sources, including Engadget, HD DVD is now dead. Blu-Ray has won, and the world of entertainment is now decided for the next few years. We now have our modern VHS and Betamax. Huzzah…
…And I don’t really care. Why? I don’t have anything HD, excluding my computers (monitor resolution, here. Not movie-playing). I use DVDs all the time. I don’t have a big screen HD TV, I don’t have an Xbox 360 or PS3, I don’t watch High-Def films. Why? Because I don’t want to spend a ton of cash on stuff that will come down in price. And DVD is still good enough for me.
Maybe in a year or two, I will care more. Now? I don’t really care…
Filed under: Midweek Movie — Malcolm Owen @ 11:35 pm
I will readily admit that I have a liking for Lost and other epically strange programmes that stray from the norm. I will also admit to liking weird concept films (I’m still excited over the entire idea of Series 7: the Contenders, the film that’s a TV series that’s too hot for TV, where the contestants have to kill each other). I am also a sucker for watching films in almost completely empty cinemas.
The stars aligned when, last night, a group of friends said they were going to see the latest hypefest, Cloverfield.
I will readily admit that I have a liking for Lost and other epically strange programmes that stray from the norm. I will also admit to liking weird concept films (I’m still excited over the entire idea of